| "The Old Maids Last Hope" | |
| Ill tell you a story of a burglar man Who went to rob a house Went in the window, crawled under the bed As quietly as a mouse He was thinking of some money to get, While under the bed he lay The burglar saw a sight that night That made his hair turn grey About nine oclock an old maid came in Im so tired she said Glad to see her home was well She forgot to peep under her bed She took out her teeth and her big glass eye And the hair right off of her head That burglar man had nineteen fits As he rolled out from under her bed From under the bed the big burglar came He was a total wreck The old maid didnt yell at him at all She just grabbed him around the neck Then from her bosom a pistol she drew And to the burglar she said Youll marry me you big burglar man Or Ill blow off the top of your head He looked at her teeth and her big glass eye But the burglar saw nowhere to scoot He took another look at her shiny bald head And said for Gods sake woman please shoot |
|