This 1887 folk ballad by E.S. Thilp reveals a few 19th Century conceptions of beauty, morality, health, and humor. C. Goff III has brought to the world a 21st Century interpretation of this song after it has been allowed to ferment for 120 years.
Genre: Folk Album: Label: Taped Rugs Productions Credits: Words And Basic Tune By E.S. Thilp (1887). This production features Goffs voice and twiddlings, blended together with altered bits of open loops from Contagion, GEMAfreie-welten Guest Artist, and The Majestic Twelve Guest Artist.
The Old Maids Last Hope
Ill tell you a story of a burglar man
Who went to rob a house
Went in the window, crawled under the bed
As quietly as a mouse
He was thinking of some money to get,
While under the bed he lay
The burglar saw a sight that night
That made his hair turn grey
About nine oclock an old maid came in
Im so tired she said
Glad to see her home was well
She forgot to peep under her bed
She took out her teeth and her big glass eye
And the hair right off of her head
That burglar man had nineteen fits
As he rolled out from under her bed
From under the bed the big burglar came
He was a total wreck
The old maid didnt yell at him at all
She just grabbed him around the neck
Then from her bosom a pistol she drew
And to the burglar she said
Youll marry me you big burglar man
Or Ill blow off the top of your head
He looked at her teeth and her big glass eye
But the burglar saw nowhere to scoot
He took another look at her shiny bald head
And said for Gods sake woman please shoot
Mental Anguish said, "The Goffian twist put on this slice of this old folk tune is quite the tantalizing thing, great use of the loops & I do hope the burglar did escape in one way or another!"
Dave Fuglewicz said, "A slice of Americana rewound through the Goffinator and is truly warped beyond belief. Scary and compelling, yes... I must listen to it again!"
