I constructed the text of the spoken word audio recording which forms the basis of this piece out of word fragments from horoscopes and spam emails. At once abstract and at the same time highly personal, "Momentum Of A New Self-Image" addresses existential issues of self-awareness, doubt, overcoming living death, and many other things. Into this word tapestry I wove acoustic guitar, acoustic bass, flute, bassoon, bullroarer, and tambourine loops by Ed Drury.
Genre: Avant Garde Album: Hal McGee Tapegerm Collection Volume Six Label: Credits: Ed Drury Guest Artist; Hal McGee, voice, words
Momentum Of A New Self-Image
my brain
said something
Now,
here
somebody
somebody connect
You can call it admiration at first sight...
...a person trapped
in a tangled web of circumstances
going nowhere
except down a hole
held hostage
by circumstances
We talked about the pain and fear
of standing at the brink,
looking out at the unknown future.
brave and nimble
climbing relentlessly over craggy rocks
staring out at gaping abysses
...to reach the summit
and down the slippery slope.
endure struggles
nights storms
through...to reach goal
after exhaustion sets in.
You can only be faulted
for putting yourself second
for far too long.
That never works,
and only causes misery.
1) You have acknowledged the need for change.
2) awakened to make a change,
whereas before, there was doubt
3) You have re-imagined your future.
...imagine a future
of your self...
through visualization
and steadfastness of purpose,
projecting yourself into that future.
Momentum of a new self image.
Icy Blue Flower
Opal Cinnamon Silver
Food
Animal
Drink
Spice
Metal
Saturn
Earth
element
Air
number
sign
I strive
I am ruled by a rigorous aluminum tree
white metal
chocolate Venus
meat
wine
air
red birds
birth number
the element of chance
life challenge.
ambition
achievement
necessity
gain
in the areas where they themselves
are sometimes deliberate
bossy,
impatient with hesitation.
Are my methods beyond reproach?
No, but I will never wither.
failure?
wash way the soil of the struggle,
obstacle to overcome.
It was time to step back
and watch the suffering
and self-doubt consume you
Tears
Nausea
Anger escapes
crazy for pain
impossible?...
I know better
boats
points
pins on a map
a place in the world picture
I can't dance very well.
stumble clumsy walk
falling down
aiming at the hole.
threaten to lose confidence,
trust me.
get back on the horse that threw you
and focus once again on the goal
you originally set for yourself.
I am a solitary man,
anti-social at times.
Give me time.
I move fast but I live slow
I watch my every step
and take my time.
But when I finally manage...
...to shine like silver,
catching every glint...
...of sunlight...
...on my mountaintop
I have already fallen
and gotten back up
drop dead?
Well yes.
stand up tall
adore pleasure
and know how to give it all back
because it belongs to the Earth any way.
For terrestrial reasons...
...I advise setting your sights
on doing it better than anyone else
The stars are neither miserable...
...nor moderate
scribbling figures on a page
you cannot make a decision without first
considering all sides
take longer if you must
but take the plunge
From childhood to the grave,
struggling to keep the peace,
settling disputes
and maintaining an atmosphere
of tranquility at all costs.
brush your hair back from your forehead,
breathe a deep sigh
exhaustion of mental energy balance
ironing out conflicts turmoil
troubled waters
balance a desire
to need something else
with the desire
to cry
and make huge personal sacrifices
abandoning dreams,
and cherished projects,
telling lies about yourself
and giving in to the wishes of others
attempting to create symmetry...
...in every sphere.
show us why we are mistaken
when we take the wrong path
or get a fixed idea into our heads
and can't shake it out.
From time to time in my life
I have had a few friends,
male and female,
here and there,
with whom I have felt
a common natural affection.
We just simply,
easily
felt a relaxed,
comfortable connection
by just being around one another.
Those special people
and those special moments
are few and far between.
Those few scant minutes
that we spent together
smoking and chatting
were some of the best moments in my life.
I don't require a lot of friends -
only that they open up to me
and reveal a little glimpse
of their true selves.
Freedom comes at a price.
We have to buy it.
Sometimes we have to struggle
to free ourselves
from our own weaknesses
in order to fly high.
It takes months and years of toil
to gain a few minutes in the sun.
...and failing entirely
away she went,
more nervous than she would admit,
willfully that no one could help respecting her
for her efforts,
and a little flame went creeping along
pardon before she could utter an answer.
dark hair that streaked his forehead
and searched the face
...that in an instant they think about;
they talk what they are thinking,
they do what they think
somehow, the memory of it
...seemed to make her
keep her mind on happiness,
it did not last long...
her wide-open eyes first saw comfort
if you go...
you'll see a woman
who needs to be mysterious
about her old secrets
She heard his voice in a confidential whisper
lost or wasted
by being left to drift about the world
without delay.
will she stand on the brow of the hill
and decline the invitation?
she ran after her two best friends,
who were just disappearing over the hill
...neglected.
the first shock of sudden loss,
she was surprised to find the memory
...time to write.
worthy the high opinion held of her,
...began laughing.
my hard life happy.
You never told us,
so I suppose you didn't know...
...he listened with a look of dismay
mingled with amusement
My experiment will succeed.
...was mysteriously lost,
and could not be found.
her little jealous fear vanished forever,
and she witnessed her fate.
Ed said, " Definitely a masterful delivery of the spoken word. Great stuff!"
Dave Fuglewicz said, "Echoes of Ken Nordine stir in my head, the oft overlooked genre of word jazz is resurrected with a serious jolt of McGeenergy. Indeed your voice is particularly rich and emotive on this gem of a mix."
Mental Anguish said, "This is a most excellent spoken word beat coffee house type (to maybe pigeonhole this piece but by no means meaning to) a word sound painting with excellent elements woven into the tapestry. Very very reminescent of one of my personal all time favorite Dog As Master releases "Places Without Air". Mellow, majestic & haunting all at the same time."
Buzzsaw and a Spring of Slavering Shavings said, "A beautiful introspection abiding in words scintillating as gems. The Socrates of Plato's Phaedo would have ceased his post-hemlock discourse to hear such a register of expression on a wrought musical velvet. Bravoes are mandatory and enduring."
